There are aspects of every day life that will make you think about the past, and the future. Things that might make you worry or act a certain way, but may not understand. Or maybe you do understand and fear this understanding so your subconscious hides it. Of late my mind has been on someone in particular, and I have been happy yes, but no matter what these last couple of weeks have been wonderful, minus a couple of elements that I was at fault for. Hopefully they are understood and do not affect things too negatively.
Right now I am at a odd place for me, sitting on a computer looking out seeing a light snow fall and wondering about a lot of things...and wondering what I should do or what I should not do. I wonder a lot about the future and about the life I want to live, and the guy I am. I will always try to be a nice guy, no matter who you are. Granted there are a few people I don't want to deal with, but that is a rather short list, and will always be a small list, and equally as short are the people who I have wronged or there have been misunderstandings with. For these wrongs and misunderstandings, I feel awful for and wish for a second chance and wish to convey my thoughts if they would hear it.
There is someone in particular I would never want to wrong, I would never want to hurt. She is a wonderful young woman who is very intelligent she is also very cute. And as one of my friends say, "out of my league". She is a wonderful and I would like to be there for her, no matter what she decides. But, I do trust her to make the best decision for her, that is what one must do when in college. And in college your studies should come first.
Sitting here reminds me of everything I am moving away from, of all the issues of my past that I do not want to continue in my future, and I will not allow to be part of my life.
I wrote this last week, within a short time of Spring Break starting. It is interesting to see all the things I have survived and now I can look back at it and smile. Yes, my past has shaped me and it showed me a lot about myself, most of it good. I will always be there for the good people in my life, and I will always try to treat people right with almost no worry about what it might cost myself.
Yesterday I surprised a friend of mine with how I plan for the future and plan on developing a little safety net so I have the means to go where I need to for work, hopefully I can stay in the state, preferably near one of two of my favorite cities, but I will go where I need to.
Right now I am working at losing weight and showing a special woman how important she is to me. I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, a little sadness on the inside knowing that she will be leaving her family today, and from what I hear she has a good family (which I am very happy she has) and will obviously miss them.
I hope everyone else has a great day today.
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