past+happiness

Being at my parents house these past few days I see what I will never be. Within 24 hours of being here, Carl started an argument. Pretty much sadly its the norm here. And talking with a friend, I mentioned this and other things that saddens me to say, no names will be mentioned below, but I will share this with those who decide to read this:

"I have come to terms with my past. And, I know that Carl will have no part in my life. Things have been better since I graduated high school and started college, that's when I knew I can be happy and I have the right to be happy.

And I saw my past wasn't a norm. Which makes me really happy too. My past in a twisted messed up way, made me who I am. I might be a bit protective of what I share at times. Knowing that I have job potentials upon graduation, knowing I will never be like him, and that I have the right to be happy makes my day a bit better. Sadly the less I am in flint the better things are in my life, though its less with my mom and dog, extended family and my coworkers(who I call family), makes me sad and which seems weird to me.

I know it sounds sad, but knowing that I will not have carl in my life later on, means a lot to me know. knowing that if I have kids I will be a better father to them, knowing all the things that were done to us, makes me happy to say I will never be like him. When my friend and I met, I was in a dark place, and I am sorry for how I was then. Carl had done a lot of damage that summer in 2 weeks, and everything else that happened just left me a bit messed up. And caused me to change my priority of a few keys rules of life: always put others before myself. I knew at the end of last summer I needed to take time for myself...which has been hard for me. Over time life got better, and I grew the confidence to ask an amazing girl out. And, I am back to smiling again, back to being happy (and I was happy before I met her)."