Changing the past

The other day at work I heard a young man say "...if I could go back, I would have done that." I sometimes identify with this phrase. Sometimes, I do not, but say I would change everything about my past.

I know my past wasn't the most perfect past, but there are life lessons I would never have learned if it wasn't for a past like that. I have learned that I am the kind of guy who would protect those I care about, with every fiber of my being, from going through what I have been through. But, at the same time there are events in my past that I would love to never have in my past. Since we cannot do this, I learn to live my life from the experiences I have had, to learn from these elements of my past and to not let them control me. Though I hope there are more cases of great people that are great without having to live through hardships.

But, then again, changing the past may not be for the best. If you remove an element, could that lead to you never doing something else you did? I would argue yes, and an example from my past that I would say fits this, is my current relationship status. See, I was so terrified to ask a girl out that it took me a very long time till I had been in a relationship, and well I didn't met her through a usual way. But, there is a girl I am seeing know, that I am...well, as I would put it: in that happy stage where you are getting to know each other, but you don't want to put labels on it yet, for fear of ruining something. I would have never asked out this wonderful woman (the second woman, the other...well we will leave it as it did not end well). I am purposefully leaving her name out, but I don't think I met someone so understanding and wonderful as she is. When I had asked her out...my voice decided to act wrong...it may have cracked, but I know it went out briefly  and she still said yes. And, even though she wasn't feeling the greatest, she did not cancel or reschedule. I was amazed and excited by that fact alone. Though each time we hang out, at the end of the night, I run through the evening everything I have said and done, and her reactions. Sometimes I feel I have so terribly messed up that she won't respond to my text the next day, and she responds so I know that I was probably over analyzing it all. Each time I feel I might be making mistakes less. I care about this amazing young woman, I like her and she is wonderful. I never regret asking this amazing young woman out, heck when my friends have seen me hop around a computer lab, you know I am in a great mood. And, I hope that I leave her happy too, I try to treat her as special as I feel she is, and I really hope I am succeeding and I really hope, I don't mess this up.