No matter how tired I feel right now, my face is smiling. I asked a amazing young woman out and she said yes, we stayed in, instead of going out and it was amazing. She is wonderful. Tomorrow I have a little surprise planned for her, something highly random and unexpected, but nothing big and nothing flashy. I am a bit random at times, and I will only be me around her, no hiding anything.
I want her to know she is special, and beautiful. I know its only early, but I enjoyed every text, every fb message, every second talking. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her. So, I have a little surprise planned for her tomorrow, nothing big, hopefully cute and random and I hope she likes it.
I am normally don't ask women out, its a scary thing on both fronts. Having a guy whose voice might crack or might loose his voice for a second asking you out, has to be hard on a girl, and surprising at times. But, with every relationships there are lessons to be learned, granted I don't want to put a label on this just yet, for fear of potentially ruining what is now. But, besides that, these lessons tell you about who you are when you are seeing someone and tell you what mistakes you made, and I in most failed relationships there are lessons both parties could learn. Personally, for me it is in how I show I care, and not falling too fast, at least that is what I think they are. My ex would probably yell at me again about lots of things, but part of that would probably just be meant to lash out, and I really don't care.
There are a few things I think are key to a successful relationship, and when I say successful relationship, I am referring to the only one I feel matters, the long term relationship. Short term relationships, are never what I aim for in dating, I aim for finding the one I could find myself spending my life with. I hope this doesn't freak you out, knowing you can see this, but I am being honest here, one of the keys in my definition of relationships. Some of the other keys are (but not limited too) trust, honesty(yup mentioned above), communication, sharing of information (when it effects or could effect both your lives), willing to compromise, willing to admit to your faults, willing to be there for each other through thick and thin and many more.
I know this got off on a tangent, but I am thinking of a special young woman, one who I asked out and spent one date with, and I hope to see her more often. I also hope not to do anything that could damage her other relationships with friends or family, for I would never want to do that. All I really want, is to see her happy no matter what that means towards me. But either way, I hope the little surprise I am planning for her, will be one she will enjoy and be rather surprised about.
Here is to hoping...And if she has to cancel, I will be understanding we are in college and priorities should not be on relationships in college, but on studies. But, still I won't deny I have my fingers crossed.
**update**
There was a fear lingering in her mind which she discussed and I hope that this fear leads to making a decision. Last night this fell upon my mind when she left...and sat like a rock in my gut, but sadly this rock wasn't rounded and my mind went negative with it. I hope you see me as I am, I hope I have shown my willingness to understand, and my willingness to change. I know you don't want to rush in, and I don't want to rush you at all, and no matter what happens I would like to at least call you a friend...already you know more about me than a lot of others, I try not to show it, but I feel weak and isolated in front of you, I spent too many years hiding things from the world. You are an awesome young woman, and I know you haven't seen it, but these eyes drop alligator tears, they are just not so used to being seen when it happens. I hope you have a great day.
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